Wednesday, July 13, 2016

Prayer of Desperation


(Audio version; Music: "Open Heaven" by: Hillsong & "Thy Will" by: Hillary Scott & The Scott Family)







Introduction

            Some of you might think that as a pastor I have special access to God—I pray and God answers. Sorry to disappoint you but I’m not that fortunate. In fact, to be completely honest with you, I’d have to say that most of my prayers go unanswered. I wish I could tell you why but I can’t. Some prayers are clearly selfish and given enough time, I eventually realize that I had no business praying those prayers in the first place. I know it might shock some of you that a pastor would pray selfish prayers but if we’re going to be honest with each other then you should know that I’m probably just like you unless, of course, you’ve never prayed selfishly. In that case, I’m not like you. But not all of my prayers are selfish, or at least I have searched my heart and don’t believe they are selfish. Some of my prayers, like prayers for the salvation of some of my family and friends, like prayers for the reconciliation of marriages and families, prayers for peace in the midst of violence, prayers for the safety and deliverance of my brothers and sisters in Christ around the world who are being brutalized, prayers for faithfulness within my own family, prayers that my ministry would accomplish its objective of reaching every nation in the world, and so many more prayers that I can provide sound biblical support for being right in line with God’s will. And isn’t that how Jesus taught us to pray to our heavenly Father—“Your will be done on earth as it is in heaven (Mt. 6:10)?” Didn’t Jesus say that whatever we asked in His name (assuming it is according to His will) that He would do it (Jn. 14:13)?

What happens when we think we’re doing what God expects us to do but He doesn’t seem to be doing what seems clear that He says He will do? To whom can we turn if God won’t answer when He appears to promise that He will? It can leave us desperate—desperate for answers, desperate for relief, or just plain desperate. I’m in one of those places right now and maybe you’re there too. I have prayed long and hard about some very important things that I was so sure were right in line with God’s will and not only did God not honor my prayers, He allowed the exact opposite to happen in response to my prayers. Over the last few months I have gone from disbelief, to sorrow, to anger, to disappointment, to where am I right now—desperate. I have reached the point where I just don’t know what to pray so I have simply been offering God my Prayer of Desperation—“Lord, help me!” And I’m trusting that God hears my prayers and that His will is being done in all things, not mine. I am trusting that one day it will make sense to me even though it doesn’t right now. I am trusting that God is in control even though it doesn’t feel like it right now. I think this week’s lesson is aimed directly at me but if you’re at the same place; if you’re desperate; if you have reached the point where all you have to offer is a Prayer of Desperation; if all you have left to say is, “Lord, help me!” then maybe this lesson will speak you as well.

Subject Text

Matthew 15:21-28

            21Leaving that place, Jesus withdrew to the region of Tyre and Sidon. 22A Canaanite woman from that vicinity came to him, crying out, “Lord, Son of David, have mercy on me! My daughter is demon-possessed and suffering terribly.” 23Jesus did not answer a word. So his disciples came to him and urged him, “Send her away, for she keeps crying out after us.” 24He answered, “I was sent only to the lost sheep of Israel.” 25The woman came and knelt before him. “Lord, help me!” she said. 26He replied, “It is not right to take the children’s bread and toss it to the dogs.” 27“Yes it is, Lord,” she said. “Even the dogs eat the crumbs that fall from their master’s table.” 28Then Jesus said to her, “Woman, you have great faith! Your request is granted.” And her daughter was healed at that moment.

Context

            Our Subject Text falls within a stretch of miraculous events and anxious encounters with the religious leaders. At this point, Jesus’ ministry is in full swing. Who He is and what He is capable of doing is on full display. Preceding our Subject Text, Jesus feeds five thousand men not counting women and children who were also fed using five loaves and bread and two small fish (Mt. 14:13-21). He terrifies the disciples by walking to them on the Sea of Galilee while they were battling a storm (Mt. 14:22-33). Jesus healed all those who even touched the hem of His cloak (Mt. 14:34-36). Our Subject Text forms the center of a chiastic structure as Matthew continues after our Subject Text that the crowds were amazed by Jesus’ ability to heal and that He healed all those who were brought to him (Mt. 15:29-31). Thereafter Jesus fed, this time, four thousand men not including women and children with seven loaves of bread and a few small fish (Mt. 15:32-39). That chiastic structure of the text before and after our Subject Text forms a kind of literary arrow that points right to our Subject Text.

Text Analysis

            21Leaving that place, Jesus withdrew to the region of Tyre and Sidon.

            Jesus had been preaching in the city of Capernum in Galilee and then, according to v. 21, traveled thirty miles or so north to the areas around Tyre and Sidon in Phoenicia. Phoenicia was Gentile territory and the cities of Tyre and Sidon specifically, were very wealthy port cities along the shores of the Mediterranean Sea. Considering Jesus came specifically to preach to the Jews a message that He was inaugurating God’s kingdom “on earth as it is in heaven,” He certainly spent His share of time preaching and performing miracles in Gentile territories. Have you ever wondered why? There was a component of Jesus’ ministry that foreshadowed the mission of spreading the message of salvation to all the world but I wonder if ministry just wasn’t easier in Gentile territories where there were no preconceived notions of a Messiah like there were in Israel among the Jews and specifically among the Jewish religious leaders. I wonder if Jesus sometimes felt more at home away from home; away from those who should have known Him best; away from those who should have recognized Him; away from those who should have embraced Him. Jesus certainly encountered less resistance when He traveled outside of Israel and this particular trip outside the religious confines of Israel would be no different. His primary mission was to Israel but I wonder if His time spent in Gentile territories wasn’t an opportunity to be refreshed in and environment that didn’t oppose Him. “The two cities [Tyre and Sidon], the epitome of Gentile ‘uncleanness,’ showed just how far into non-Jewish territory Jesus was willing to go to find such persistent faith. Jesus shook the dust of Israel off his feet as he reached out to the Gentiles.”[1]

22A Canaanite woman from that vicinity came to him, crying out, “Lord, Son of David, have mercy on me! My daughter is demon-possessed and suffering terribly.”

            Why do you suppose Matthew identifies this woman as a “Canaanite” in v. 22? The text already says that she is from the vicinity so what is the significance of identifying her as a “Canaanite woman from that vicinity?” Because Matthew probably knew that his audience would be primarily Jewish and he wanted to emphasize the magnitude of the event. There are three specific items to consider in v. 22. We’ve already identified that she is a Gentile and most “good” Jews steered clear of Gentiles because of their inherent uncleanness from a Jewish perspective. And certainly religious leaders would steer clear of Gentiles for fear of being defiled and as a result being unable to participate in ceremonial practices for a certain length of time. Second, she is a woman. Women in Israel just didn’t confront men and certainly would never even think of confronting a rabbi or some other religious leader. And finally, by naming her as a Canaanite, Matthew is reminding his Jewish audience that Israel and Canaan have been enemies since the moment Israel took possession of the Promised Land—from the Canaanites! Matthew wanted his Jewish audience in particular to recognize that this Gentile, Canaanite woman had three strikes against her. She really had no chance with so much going against her. But Jesus again proves that no one is beyond His reach.

            Look what she does. Look how she calls out to Jesus. She cried out to Him saying, “Lord, Son of David.” Now it’s possible that she was a convert to Judaism but the text doesn’t tell us that. We also don’t get the impression that she is one of Jesus’ followers so she probably didn’t learn about Him that way. Instead, it is likely that Jesus’ reputation by this point in His ministry preceded Him. We don’t know for sure how she knew enough about Jesus to know He was the Son of David. Not just any son mind you. She wouldn’t have come all this way for anyone. She believed there was something special about Jesus. She called him “Lord” and pleaded for Him to have mercy on her. She might have heard stories about what Jesus had done and who Jesus claimed He was. She couldn’t have known who Jesus was in the fullest sense of His divinity. Not even His closest disciples knew that. But you know what, I don’t think she really cared about that. I think she heard that Jesus was in town and she was desperate enough to help her daughter that she was ready to do just about anything—even believe that Jesus was who He said He was and could do what He said He could do. She was desperate enough to have faith in someone she didn’t fully understand. Desperation has a way of doing that. Desperation has a way of taking us to places we would never go or doing things we would never do if we weren’t desperate.

            “She greeted him as ‘Lord’ and went on, ‘Son of David’ an expression Matthew has 8 times in reference to Jesus…It speaks of a descendant of the great King David and came to be used of the Messiah, viewing him as a great warrior like David, one who would establish a mighty kingdom. It is curious to find the title being used by a Canaanite woman for who an Israelite ruler would presumably have no attraction. Perhaps she thought it would be as well to address the one from who she was looking for help in terms that he would recognize as signifying greatness. Or better, in view of the faith that this narrative shows she possessed, she had come to accept Jesus as Messiah.”[2]

23Jesus did not answer a word. So his disciples came to him and urged him, “Send her away, for she keeps crying out after us.”

            According to v. 23, Jesus didn’t answer the woman. It doesn’t say He didn’t hear her. It doesn’t say He was ignoring her. It simply says He didn’t answer her. I’ve spent countless hours studying Jesus and I know for certain that He was not in the habit of being rude to people who came to Him for help. So I’m fairly sure He was doing something else in this interchange with the Canaanite woman. I believe He was following a pattern—a pattern of drawing out faith. But not just any faith, I believe he was drawing out faith born of desperation. We see the pattern over and over during Jesus’ earthly ministry. For example, in the story of Jesus’ good friend Lazarus, Jesus gets word that Lazarus is deathly ill. However, Jesus delays His return to Lazarus’ home until after Lazarus dies. When He get’s close to Lazarus’ home, Lazarus’ sister Martha runs out to meet Him with the news that Lazarus was dead. The desperation in Martha’s tone is palpable when she reaches Jesus and says to Him, ‘You’re too late. Lazarus is dead! If you had just come when we sent for you, he would still be alive.’ And then comes the Prayer of Desperation when Martha says, ‘Even now I believe God will do whatever you ask.’ And of course we now know that Jesus raised Lazarus from the dead. But that pattern repeats itself often throughout the gospels. An encounter with Jesus, an initial plea for help, an obstacle (or multiple obstacles) instead of an immediate response to the plea for help (in the story of Lazarus it was the obstacle of time as Jesus delayed long enough for Lazarus to first die), a Prayer of Desperation, and finally an answer to a plea—maybe not the answer we hope for but an answer nonetheless.

            In v. 22 we find the encounter and the initial plea and in v. 23 we have the first obstacle through Jesus’ silence but mainly at the hands of the disciples who were always too ready to brush people off who were a distraction to their mission—somehow failing to see that reaching the people with the news of Jesus was their mission all along. “The woman continues to follow after them, and she continued to shout. Finally, the disciples urge Jesus to tell her to leave. Jesus, always compassionate, would heal the woman’s daughter, but not just to make her stop following them. He had a lesson about faith that he needed to teach the woman. In so doing, he would teach the disciples a lesson as well.”[3]

24He answered, “I was sent only to the lost sheep of Israel.”

            Jesus finally responds in v. 24 and to be honest with you, it seems kind of cruel and uncaring at first. Here we have a woman who comes to Him with what appears to be a legitimate need and He seems to be saying, “Sorry lady but that’s not my department. I work in lawn and garden and you need someone from the paint department. I can’t help you.” You all know how frustrating that can be especially if you went to the paint department to start with and there was no one in that department that could help you. With respect to the Canaanite woman from our Subject Text, you should know that just a few miles from where she lived was the temple to the god Eshmun who was the Phoenician god of healing. I can’t tell you with certainty because the text doesn’t tell us but I wouldn’t be surprised if she hadn’t already taken her daughter to that temple just to find out that they couldn’t help her. And further, it wouldn’t surprise me to learn that Jesus already knew that which would only serve to highlight Jesus’ response to the woman even more. If she already tried the obvious and He was turning her away, where does that leave her? I wonder if that was exactly the point Jesus was trying to make—Jesus can’t be an option among many other options. Jesus must be the only option! However, for many of us, we don’t come to that realization until we are desperate.

            What Jesus said was true, He was the fulfillment of the Jewish messianic prophecies. He was the Jew who came to the Jews to be their King as foretold by the prophets of old; as foretold by their own Scriptures. It was the Jews who were supposed to recognize Him and from that starting point evangelize the world with the message that God had become incarnate in the person of Jesus Christ; that God’s kingdom had begun on earth as it is in heaven; that God had sent His one and only Son to pay for their sins once and for all. That was why He came to the Jews and that was the message the Jews were supposed to announce to the world. Salvation would come to the Gentile world but it needed to begin with the Jews because God’s chosen people were always part of His plan for humanity’s salvation—including the salvation of Gentiles. With that background, we can see that from a macro perspective, it is true that Jesus’ primary mission was to deal with the Jews. But from a micro perspective, and specifically in dealing with the Canaanite woman, His response is an obstacle He is placing in front of this woman. His mission in this case was to teach a lesson of faith that would be universally necessary for all people—Jew or Gentile. And that lesson is that until we are desperate enough to confess that we depend on Jesus as the one and only Lord of our lives and rely on no one or nothing else, He will continue to erect or to allow obstacles in our lives—obstacles in the form of disappointments, losses, discouragements, pain, suffering, etc., in response to our prayers for help.

Jesus knows that it is through the fires of obstacles as a response to our prayers that our faith will be exposed as being a faith that is shallow and useless or a faith with roots that run deep and dive even deeper when confronted with obstacles. “This verse is uniquely Matthean…Jesus must first go to the Jews, and then he will move on the Gentiles. More relevant to the immediate context, however, since Jesus has actually left Israel already, is the interpretation that takes these words as a test or prompt of some kind designed to draw out the woman into further discussion.”[4]

25The woman came and knelt before him. “Lord, help me!” she said.

            And there it is! We finally get to the Prayer of Desperation in v. 25. The desperation in her words is almost impossible to miss. Her plea in v. 22 was very specific that she sought healing for her daughter. Now, however, her plea is simply for help. I’m sure her goal was the healing of her daughter but her focus has begun to shift. Where originally her plea attempted to direct Jesus’ actions in a certain way, her plea now is simply for Jesus to act. I have been in this place and I bet you have been there too. We come to God seeking His intervention in a certain way. We desire something and we want God to fulfill that desire. Except we want Him to fulfill that desire the way we want Him to fulfill it. We don’t leave room for God to be God. We still aren’t at the point where we are fully committed to allowing Jesus to be the Lord of our lives. But when our cries go unanswered; when we face enough obstacles, we eventually get to the place where this woman is and we pray the Prayer of Desperation—“Lord, help me!” We reach a point of desperation where we are prepared to allow God to be God regardless of how that might look. Answered prayer or unanswered prayer we are desperate to know that God is in control. It isn’t until we are desperate that we can pray “Your will be done not my will be done.”

            “The woman came close to Jesus and knelt before him. The verb knelt is the common word that means ‘to worship.’ In this vivid account, there is probably an emphasis on the literal meaning of the word, ‘to bow down,’ but there is a deliberate contrast between this woman’s genuine, heart-felt response to Jesus and Israel’s false, superficial ‘worship’…This woman knew she needed a Savior, but Israel thought they were doing just fine on their own. This is true worship in its most basic form—to cast ourselves on God in helplessness, acknowledging the Lord’s power, love, and wisdom as our only source of help.”[5]

26He replied, “It is not right to take the children’s bread and toss it to the dogs.” 27“Yes it is, Lord,” she said. “Even the dogs eat the crumbs that fall from their master’s table.”

            We have to be careful when we read vv. 26-27 or else we will miss exactly what is being said here. In reality, there are two conversations going on here. Jesus’ conversation is a missional conversation about those to whom He was first sent—the “children” of Israel. In this respect Jesus is referring to the Jews who are first to be invited to the banquet that has been prepared for them using the parable of the wedding banquet from Matthew 22. The woman’s conversation is a practical conversation about the desperate needs of all people and reflects the reality that God will ultimately invite anyone who will come to the banquet in place of the Jews who reject His initial invitation. It is important to understand Jesus’ words as strictly metaphorical. He wasn’t calling Gentiles “dogs” (although devout Jews of His time wouldn’t have argued with that characterization). Instead, Jesus was emphasizing that in any household, the available food must first belong to the children of the house.

            The woman doesn’t appear to be offended and in continued humility accepts Jesus’ metaphorical reference to her as a dog. Instead, she uses it to continue to argue her point and argue her point very effectively when she reminds Jesus that even though feeding the children should certainly be the priority, that doesn’t mean the dog should starve to death. The two don’t have to be mutually exclusive. She makes a rational and cogent argument in response to Jesus even though she could very easily have been offended. Interestingly, one of the first things to go when we are in a state desperation is our pride. No matter how Jesus may refer to her, she has nowhere else to turn. Jesus is her last hope and she is banking on His mercy to care even for her—a dog.

            I’m not sure there are prayers more powerful in God’s ears than those offered with a heart of dependence and humility. Remember in the story Jesus told of the Pharisee and the tax collector, it wasn’t the Pharisee who was justified when he prayed that he was thankful that he wasn’t like that other guy—the “sinner.” It was the tax collector who was justified because his prayer of forgiveness was offered with a heart of dependence and humility. He was afraid to even approach God but stood at a distance and beat his breast and prayed a Prayer of Desperation—“God, have mercy on me, a sinner.” Don’t you think that’s what Jesus heard in the words of this woman? I think what Jesus heard and what God hears in any Prayer of Desperation is, “I know I don’t deserve anything from you but please don’t base your actions on who I am, I am asking you, Lord, to act because of who you are and I will accept whatever that is.”

            “The needs of the children must be met, and care for the dogs must not interfere with this necessary duty. But this is not the whole story…The little dogs, the dogs that belong in the household, have their place, too. They eat the scraps that fall from their master’s table. The table here obviously is a table on which a meal is spread, and that the dogs eat what falls from the table shows that they have their recognized place in the house. Those who own dogs make sure they are fed. This neat answer shows that the woman was not presuming on her position. She knew that she did not belong to Israel and thus had no claim as belonging to the chosen people. But surely there would be crumbs!”[6]

28Then Jesus said to her, “Woman, you have great faith! Your request is granted.” And her daughter was healed at that moment.

            Maybe you can see in your mind’s eye the smile growing across Jesus’ face as the last words cross the woman’s lips in v. 28. The text clearly indicates that He is talking directly to her but I wonder if He didn’t walk up next to her and put His arm around her shoulder and face the disciples when He said these things because they were the ones who were quick to dismiss her in the first place. Imagine with me Jesus saying to His disciples, “Do you see this woman? Look at her great faith! That’s the kind of faith I’ve been talking about! It’s the kind of faith I was hoping to find in Israel! It’s the kind of faith I am looking for from the children I came to feed! The kind of faith I expect from everyone who claims to call me Lord.” And then you can almost see Him turn to the woman and take her face in His hands and say the words she has been so desperate to hear—“Your daughter has been healed.”

            Tell me you haven’t tried to bargain with God. You know, “If you do this for me then I will always put you first in my life.” We try to convince God that our faith will grow stronger if He does what we ask Him to do. But that’s not what God expects from us. God looks for faith even when we face what we believe are insurmountable obstacles—obstacles He placed in front of us or obstacles He allowed to be placed in front of us. God always hears our prays but is more interested in know that we acknowledge Him to be the Lord of our lives whether He grants our request or not. I have no doubt the woman’s faith in Jesus became even stronger after these events but consider how strong her faith must have been to persist in seeking Jesus even after Jesus set obstacles in front of her. She never quit. She never gave up. She kept believing that Jesus was Lord even though there was always a chance that He wouldn’t grant her request.

            “She understands the program of God to go to Israel first, but she persists. In a sense, Jesus is testing her. Will she see through the salvation-historical distinction between Israel and the Gentiles and recognize that God ultimately desires to bring healing to all people? She passes with flying colors because she acknowledges that as the Messiah of Israel, Jesus is the master of all, and he will care for the needs of all whether Jews (‘children’) or Gentiles (‘dogs’). Her response is called by Jesus an exercise of ‘great faith,’ which is rewarded by having her daughter healed that very hour.

            Even though God has a program, he responds to true faith. The privileged people of Nazareth did not respond in faith and so could not receive Jesus’ healing ministry. But this Gentile woman has an openness to Jesus that allows his healing ministry to operate. Here we understand that faith is essentially accepting the revelation and will of God as one’s own reality and purpose for life. The ‘greatness’ of faith points to the fact that such an unlikely person—a Gentile woman living outside of Israel—demonstrates one of the clearest understandings of God’s salvation-historical program and Jesus’ participation in it…By healing this Gentile woman’s daughter, Jesus demonstrates that he also has an eye on the ultimate ingathering of all peoples.”[7]

Application

            I fully realize that if you are desperate, our Subject Text can have one of two effects on you. It can give you a sense of hope as you continue to pray desperately for God to act. It can also have the effect of causing you to despair as you witness God act on behalf of this woman, and so many others, yet won’t act in response to your cries for help. Please don’t get the wrong impression from this lesson. Too many Christians believe that if we would just have enough faith then God will answer all our prayers. For those of you who have stood by the graveside of your child who died even while you prayed yourself sick, you know that the depth of your faith is not the measure used by God to grant or deny our requests. A deep and abiding faith may provide the opening for God to respond to our prayers but it doesn’t guarantee it. Our relationship with God is not a quid-pro-quo arrangement. There is not a one-to-one correspondence between the depth of our faith and God’s answer to our prayers. What God expects is that we have faith in His program even if that means our prayers go unanswered. God’s program may look completely different than our expectations. Faith says, “your will be done, not mine.” Unfortunately, we usually don’t recognize God’s program until we have a chance to look back at the events of our lives when we believed God didn’t answer or hear our cries for help. Time gives us a different perspective on our past pleas for God’s help.

            Those of you who have been reading my lessons know some of my life story but for those of you who don’t know, let me retell some relevant aspects to try and give you a glimpse of how God operates in response to a Prayer of Desperation. I grew up in the home of an abusive alcoholic father. He was often unhappy when he didn’t drink but his fuse could be particularly short when he was drunk, which was every night. I spent most days desperately trying not to lite his fuse in some way. I wasn’t always successful. I still remember some of the beatings down to the smallest details some forty years later. I know what a Prayer of Desperation sounds like. I know what it feels like when God doesn’t seem to care about your cries for help. But let me tell you about the view looking back over the pain of those years.

            God did two things during those painful years. He forced the roots of my faith down deeper every time I prayed a Prayer of Desperation. I had to depend on God. I was just a kid! I had nowhere else to go. I couldn’t leave. I was stuck. I had to learn how to persevere. Perseverance isn’t a genetic trait. It is something that is developed and grows through pain and suffering. From the very beginning God was preparing me for a life of ministry. And if there is one thing that is needed in Christian ministry, it is perseverance. But God was also preparing me to be able to empathize with and have compassion for those who have been traumatized by abuse. It is not difficult to empathize with someone who grew up in a relatively normal, healthy and happy home. However, there is no way to empathize with someone who has gone through the trauma of abuse unless you’ve lived it. Unless you’ve stood naked on a cold, tile floor shaking in front of a mirror in a puddle of your own urine surveying the welt marks that cover your body from a leather belt, then it is difficult to look an abuse victim in the eye and say, “I understand your pain.” Well I can do that because that was part of God’s program for my life to equip me for this ministry. There is no way I could have known any of that at the time when I prayed my Prayer of Desperation, but now I know God heard my prayers. He just answered them in a way that accomplished His will not mine. And it was for the benefit of those of you out there who have endured the trauma of abuse that I have been equipped to minister to you by assuring you that no matter your circumstances God always hears your Prayer of Desperation.







[1] Stuart K. Weber, Matthew—Holman New Testament Commentary, (Nashville, TN: B&H Publishing Group, 2000), p. 230.
[2] Leon Morris, The Gospel According to Matthew—Pillar New Testament Commentary, (Grand Rapids, MI: Wm. B. Eerdmans Publishing Co., 1992), p. 402.
[3] Bruce Barton, Philip Comfort, Grant Osborne, Linda K. Taylor, and Dave Veerman, Life Application New Testament Commentary, (Wheaton, IL: Tyndale House Publishers, 2001), p. 72.
[4] Craig Blomberg, Matthew—The New American Commentary, (Nashville, TN: Broadman Press, 1992), p. 243.
[5] Weber, Matthew, p. 231.
[6] Morris, The Gospel According to Matthew, p. 405.
[7] Michael J. Wilkins, Matthew—The NIV Application Commentary, (Grand Rapids, MI: Zondervan, 2004), p. 540.


No comments:

Post a Comment